Teen Wolf: Lunar Ellipse.

Previously on Teen Wolf: Alpha Pact.

I wasn't gonna write a review this week, but then Marie reminded me of the many stupid things in this episode that needed to be catalogued for posterity. Not that I didn't enjoy it, but that enjoyment was helped along by the fact that I was a) playing the Teen Wolf drinking game, and b) watching it with someone who had never seen the show before, thus rendering everything hysterically funny. (Try explaining three seasons of convoluted Teen Wolf soap-opera subplots in one minute or less. TRY IT.)

i just watched teen wolf and it was exactly what id expected from teen wolf.
— Merlin (@Typhonatemybaby) August 20, 2013

The Alpha Pack/darach storylines are more or less wrapped up, THANK GOD, hopefully leaving the show to do a better job with season 3B. And the episode ends with the satisfying combination of parental survival (duh, they weren't gonna kill them off, hello), Stiles/Scott friendship, and Derek and Cora shipping out to a group therapy retreat together. It's just too bad that there are a ton of problems lingering on from earlier points in the season.
Regarding the treatment of all the villains/antagonists in this episode, I can't help but feel that Teen Wolf is going in a distinctly Supernatural-esque direction. When I wrote the Teen Wolf drinking game yesterday, most of the rules were basically affectionate jokes about all the dumbass shit that happens in this show, but one was pretty serious: the rule about female or POC characters being killed off while the white men survive. The two permanent deaths of the episode were Jennifer and Kali. Deucalion's survival was mostly down to Derek and Scott's distaste for coldblooded murder, but from an audience perspective it was both unsatisfying and pointless to see him walk away unscathed. Not to mention frustrating when 75% of the main character deaths have been women, in a show where the main cast is already about 75% male overall.
The twins were definitely the worst for me. I've never been able to get my head around the Aiden/Lydia relationship in particular, despite the many comments/messages I've had from people who basically say, Lydia is kinda fucked up and attracted to dangerous/abusive men. I agree that Lydia probably has bad taste in men and also has some issues with regards to dating and relationships, but I also think that the depiction of her relationship with Aiden has been VERY poorly written. She expresses shock when Stiles reveals that Aiden is an evil murderous werewolf, BUT she never really confronts him about that, or indeed seems to struggle with it internally. Her decision to keep hooking up with Aiden can be interpreted as self-destructive, but it's definitely not explicitly portrayed as that, and her motivations are very unclear. Aiden's "redemption through love" storyline has been even less convincing than Ethan's, because he was always the more aggressive/amoral of the twins. He seems to like Lydia and wants her to be OK, but not enough to a) actively protect her, b) tell her anything about what's going on, c) explain his reasons for joining a murderous werewolf gang, or d) do anything other than mildly protest to other Alpha Pack members that he likes her and doesn't want to have to kill her.
I find it actively irritating that Ethan and Aiden were included in the friendship montage at the end of the episode. They have functionally replaced Boyd in the teen social circle, except moreso because Boyd was never fully part of the gang, whereas the twins have links in the form of Danny and Lydia. Except, remember how they KILLED BOYD? An action for which their ONLY EXCUSE was that they were "just following orders"? Remember how they never expressed remorse for this, and Ethan is the only one of the two who even appears to have basic moral qualms about the Alpha Pack? Boyd was killed off for a Derek-related manpain reason that only lasted until the end of that specific episode. Nobody really mourned him. Nobody seems all that bothered that the twins are directly responsible for his death. Lydia is now dating a murderer who only went to highschool in order to seduce her for information. Cora (the ONLY person who really cared about Boyd's death after it happened) actually helped save the twins in this episode. Everyone is friends now and it's all fine.

Redemption arcs are a massive problem on this show. It kinda seems like Jeff Davis got the memo about heroes and villains being more interesting if they're "shades of grey" characters rather than 100% good or bad, but then didn't really think things through after that. Allison had a great redemption storyline where she did some ~bad~ things for reasons that, emotionally speaking, made sense. But also, she's one of the good guys, so she kind of HAS to be redeemed. Also, Gerard Argent is arguably the most compelling and watchable villain on Teen Wolf, and he is unabashedly evil in every way. He can't possibly be redeemed at all. And that's fine. Ditto Kate, whose backstory with Derek is more interesting than the rest of his more recent manpain crap combined. But with characters like Peter, Deucalion, Jennifer, and basically the entire Alpha Pack, I'm stumped.

This episode proved that the simple point made by that drinking game rule holds true. The twins are already on the road to redemption, with hardly any effort on their part whatsoever. Deucalion survives and is treated with relative kindness and respect, mostly because Derek and Scott are (understandably) squeamish about killing him. Meanwhile Jennifer is left for dead and is eventually finished off by Peter, who turns out to still be evil in a "revelation" that will surprise precisely zero viewers. So just to tally that one again, Jennifer and Kali are dead, while Deucalion and Gerard survive as spare villains to be brought back in future seasons. Deucalion is particularly annoying, since he turned out to be a surprisingly uninteresting villain this season, and I can't imagine that many fans find him engaging as a character in general.
Derek in this episode was... IDK. Was it just me, or was Tyler Hoechlin's acting noticeably way more terrible than usual? I feel like a douchebag just saying that, because he seems like a sweetheart in real life, but seriously. In some episodes he does pretty well and you do actually feel the ridiculously overwrought Derek Hale Torment, but this week he was soooo clunky. Usually there's like one line delivery per episode where he sounds like an automaton and just sort of stares at a wall or something, but for some reason this happened like six times in the season finale, presumably making up for his far better acting in several other episodes?? Anyhow, character-wise, I have no idea what was even meant to be going on between him and Jennifer. Where are Derek's emotions at? Does he identify with Jennifer's need for revenge? Who knows. (I'd say "who cares", but I was pretty invested in the idea of Derek getting into a serious relaysh with a mass-murderer with no face. That would've been a far better ~ridiculous redemption~ storyline than Deucalion surviving, or the twins galumphing around Beacon Hills High without a care in the world.)
There were two things I really liked this week: Allison, and the relationship between Scott and his parents. I love that Scott's relationship with his mother is so good, and I particularly love that he RECOGNISES THAT. Melissa McCall is an amazing mom and amazing woman, and she and her son have a lovely, trusting relationship where he admires her and thinks she awesome. What a great depiction of a divorced family that is the exact opposite of a "broken home". Agent McCall is portrayed as a douchebag from day one, and Scott clearly recognises that he and his mother are better off without Dad in the picture. Love it. Actually, there are so many great single parents in this show that it kind of makes me wonder if Jeff Davis is writing from experience? But then again, it might just be because dead parents are mandatory in this type of show. As for Allison, she was brilliant throughout the episode, and I'm SUPER INTO the implication that she's gonna go fully-fledged Buffy the Vampire Slayer next season. PLEASE LET THAT HAPPEN.

Miscellaneous

• WHY DO ALL THE MEN IN THIS SHOW WEAR EXACTLY THE SAME CLOTHES? Stiles is marginally different in that he wears more plaid, and Isaac has the whole snood/scarf/knitwear thing going on, but seriously. EVERY SINGLE DUDE IS JUST WEARING A GREY HENLEY AND TIGHT-FIT JEANS. Arrrrrghhhhhh. I think Teen Wolf has had the same costume designer throughout, so I'm not really sure why she's gone from each character having a relatively distinctive style, to all the men being dressed in a chorus line of identical monochrome henleys. Plus, that's gonna make it difficult for new viewers to tell the characters apart, because nearly everyone is a slim/muscular, good-looking white guy, and most of the show takes place in the dark. Don't fall into the cheesy American TV trap of making everyone look like a clone!!
• I totally should've put "I'm the Alpha!" in my drinking game, but I was soooo sure that they couldn't possibly use that line again. But it happened TWICE!! In ONE EPISODE!
• Not impressed by the fact that Lydia's banshee storyline was, as either @snazdoll or @MLDavies put it, reduced to her acting as a human dog whistle for Jennifer. 
• Jennifer healing Deucalion's blindness before he died was bullshit. What a garbage idea. Bleurgh.
• Loved the Matrix parking garage scene at the beginning. They should've left the Nemeton tree there and told everyone it was installation art. 
• Why did Scott and Stiles get changes of dry clothes but Lydia had to wear that dress throughout the entire episode? Someone give her a jacket at least! I guess Scott and Stiles must've been wearing Scott's spare clothes that he leaves at Deaton's office...??
• I'm inclined to believe that Tyler Hoechlin can act, mostly due to the fact that his IRL personality is so different from Derek in every way. However, this episode made me reeeeally hope that he does actually get cast as Batman in the Man of Steel sequel. I hated both Man of Steel and The Dark Knight Rises, so the idea of Tyler Hoechlin having to deliver Chris Nolan/Zach Snyder dialogue sounds hilarious to me. CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE.
• I liked the cinematography in the final scene with Deucalion, where they made him look really small and weak by comparison to Scott and Derek.
• The flashback scenes were fun to watch, but this show really needs to get out of the habit of trying to ~tie everything together~ in the past. EVERYTHING DOES NOT NEED TO BE CONNECTED. In a show like this, there is no point in trying to link everything together in some complex backstory web. Particularly if your storylines require the audience to quickly forget terrible and/or stupid things that happened only a few episodes ago. 
• What is up with Jennifer's darach outfit?? When we were watching the episode, my friend who doesn't watch Teen Wolf was like, "Why is that woman wearing a leather corset?" Why do any women in any TV shows wear a leather corset, I replied.
• SIXTEEN HOURS LYING IN AN ICE BATH, AND DEATON, ISAAC AND LYDIA ALL JUST WANDERED OFF INTO ANOTHER ROOM? Never change, Teen Wolf Science. Never change.

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The ultimate TEEN WOLF DRINKING GAME.

OK, the midseason finale is upon us. After tonight, there's no more Teen Wolf until January 2014. To help you deal with the pain, I've adapted this drinking game from a rather simpler version my brother & I invented when watching the first few episodes last year. I recommend playing it using something with a relatively low alcohol content, because I don't want anyone to end up hospitalised.
Disclaimer: I know that the episode was leaked last week, but I haven't watched it yet. These rules were created spoiler-free. (Oh, and you can reblog the drinking game from here.)

Take a sip if...

• Anyone takes off his shirt.
• Stiles’s eyes glisten with tragic, unshed tears.
• Someone uses a totally pointless martial arts move like leaping against a wall, or backflipping over something they could’ve just walked around. 
• Peter Hale acts like a Disney villain but someone trusts him anyway.
• A student at Beacon Hills High is clearly a 24-year-old Abercrombie & Fitch model. 
• Any scene inexplicably takes place in the boys’ locker room. (Double if it’s at night.)
• Lydia is smarter than everyone else in the room.
• The twins rip off their shirts and transform into the Werewolf Megazord. 
• Obvious product placement onscreen.
• Dr. Deaton gets some dialogue that isn’t frustratingly cryptic and/or an explanation of something we already knew.
• Anything remotely good happens to Derek.
• READ MORE

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Teen Wolf: "Alpha Pact".

Previously on Teen Wolf: "The Overlooked."

This episode would've been really excellent if not for these three factors:

1. The idea of Derek (or indeed anyone) trusting Peter about anything now stretches credibility to breaking point. I realise that Derek is desperate, emotionally vulnerable, and an idiot, but even these traits shouldn't be able to completely overrule his other distinguishing feature: his paranoia when it comes to trusting anyone. Why on earth listen to anything Peter says, when Peter is so obviously a Disney villain of the first degree? Whenever he gives anyone some "useful advice", the camera immediately pans round to show him rubbing his hands together in glee, and/or dropping arsenic into their wine glass. COME ON. No one is less deserving of a second chance than Peter.
2. On a related topic, Peter and Lydia's bizarre, 10-second non-scene at Derek's apartment was atrocious. Not only has NOTHING been resolved with regards to their backstory as victim and abuser, but there was comedy music in the background of them just sort of blinking in embarrassment as if the last time they'd seen each other, Peter had done nothing worse than accidentally seeing her in her underwear or something. This is one of the worst continuity issues of the season, made even more unpleasant by the fact that Jeff Davis literally just forgot about it.
3. The entire cast's inability to keep each other informed of what's going on. Teen Wolf sometimes manages to be pretty genre-savvy about using cellphones etc (ie, in the hospital scene where Allison and Isaac use video chat to see what's going on inside). However, there are also A LOT of problems that could be solved with very simple communication. Basically, everyone needs to learn to text everyone else AS SOON as they find out any information about the Darach/the Alpha Pack/evil relatives coming to town, and also everyone needs to start wearing GPS tracking chips in their shoes. Actually I'm sorta surprised the Argents don't already do that.

Source: Teen Wolf Tumblr.

There were a bunch of great things in this episode, though. The minor character appearances were back on form, featuring Morrell as a total badass (I almost find her interesting now), Shantal Rhodes being flawless as per usual (LUV HER), and Scott McCall's douchey deadbeat dad showing up and being instantaneously dislikeable. Honestly, introducing him via Stiles was an inspired idea, because if Stiles doesn't like someone? Then we don't like them either. DEADBEAT DAD MCCALL IS THE STEVE CARLSBURG OF TEEN WOLF.

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Regarding the Hale scenes, I don't care if Cora lives or dies. Also, Derek's ongoing ~internal conflict~ over whether to sacrifice his alpha-ness (OR WHATEVER) suffered thanks to a problem that we see quite a lot in this show. Because there are so many characters and the last three episodes have taken place over a single 36-hour period, the structure is allllll over the place. Derek and Cora were essentially put on hold for most of the episode while Stiles and Lydia inexplicably went to school and everyone else ran around trying to find their kidnapped parents. As far as I recall, it was permanently nighttime in Derek's apartment (probably because it's located in Gotham City, where the sun doesn't shine), while Ms Morrell, Scott and the Alpha Pack were only seen during what were presumably flashbacks to the night before. This disjointed chronology didn't necessarily make the episode difficult to follow, but was kind of a mess. The best thing that came out of the Hale scenes was the idea of Derek lovingly chewing up and then regurgitating raw meat into Cora's mouth in order to cure her mistletoe poisoning. A beautiful family moment.

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ISAAC LAHEY PERSONALITY ROULETTE RETURNS. A couple of people on Twitter mentioned that they think Isaac's characterisation is totally legit, but I'm still not 100% on that one. I mean, I do understand why he'd be angry at Derek? But in this scene in particular, it just seemed like his dialogue was being written directly from Derek's internal self-loathing, with a Greek chorus in the form of Peter Hale's Voldemortian bad advice. Still, the show seems to be pushing Allison/Isaac, of which I can only approve, and he did get a characteristically hilarious Werewolf Manicure moment towards the end. (Sorry. I'm still obsessed with all the Werewolf Manicure shots in this show.)

I guess I have to talk about the panic attack scene because it's an important character moment, but I kinda feel like we all already know that Dylan O'Brien is a brilliant actor? Not to mention the fact that Stiles is the most consistently well-written character on the show, bar none. In season 1 I would've been majorly annoyed at any hint of Stiles/Lydia because it's just too reminiscent of "nice guy gets the girl" bullshit, but now they actually know each other and value each other's presence in the supernatural shitstorm that is Beacon Hills, I wouldn't mind if Stydia actually happened.

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Finally, I'd like to talk a little more about the glaring absense of a Peter/Lydia scene in this episode. To me, this is representative of this season's failure to recognise what is an important emotional/character arc and what isn't. Huge amounts of emphasis have been put on completely unnecessary details, such as the bizarre addition of the Derek/Paige backstory. (Unecessary both because Derek already has enough manpain and because there's no need to attach the Darach to the Hales. NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE ABOUT DEREK HALE.) Boyd, Erica and Cora were all completely ignored, despite the fact that a sibling reunion and the death of a two characters should've had a major impact in the lives of Derek and his pack. Likewise, Lydia and Peter's backstory has been cast aside, leaving the audience to wonder what, exactly, is meant to be the painful emotional driving force we were led to expect this season? If Jeff Davis was truly dedicated to the concept of "This Might Hurt", we would've had an entire episode of angst and trauma re: Boyd, far more conflict surrounding anyone's decision to trust Peter after what he did to Lydia (and others), and a longterm focus on the developing relationship between Derek and Cora.

Miscellaneous

• HAHAHA RIDICULOUS ICE BATH BULLSHIT TIME. LOLLLLL Teen Wolf Science. 
• Glad to see they're maintaining the Teen Wolf canon trend of people curing Derek's injuries by punching him. Actually, we should've known that Jennifer was evil from the start, because she healed Derek by using the perverse and ridiculous method of actually tending his wounds and showing him physical affection. Hellllooooo, didn't she realise that Derek only responds to rage, violence, and fear?
• "There might be a way. But it's dangerous. And we'll need Scott." -- you could replace literally every Deaton dialogue scene with this one line.
• When Chris Argent was all, "I'm used to getting tied up," I totally thought Melissa or the Sheriff was going to make a bondage joke. Basically, I assumed that he was referring to the massive quantities of kinky sex he was obviously having with Victoria. You know, before she died and turned into Allison's Obi-Wan Kenobi Force Ghost. 
• I also LOLed at the thing with the elevator doors because I read it as "ARG"... "ENT".
• That whole guidance counsellor scene was just amazing. I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND THEIR MOTIVATION FOR GOING TO SCHOOL THAT DAY, THOUGH. In terms of the narrative they "had" to be there in order to figure out the thing about the tree, but from a character standpoint IDK why they weren't just helping everyone else go on the Great Parent Hunt.
• CHRIS ARGENT, GUN NUT. I will never stop being entertained by scenes where people just unload gun after gun after gun onto a table. GUNS. GUNS EVERYWHERE. VERY USEFUL. VERY TOUGH. THANK YOU. GOODNIGHT. (If you don't understand what I'm talking about, watch this video.)
• Lydia has a mother?? Someone on Twitter informed me that her parents appeared briefly in episode 1x05, which I'd clearly forgotten in amongst the flurry of 27 new characters and plot arcs (or alternatively because I drank solidly throughout season 1). Anyhow, I'm pretty surprised that Lydia's mum seems so nice, supportive, and non-neglectful, and they had a good scene together.
• Re: Jeff Davis and the downward spiral of Teen Wolf season 3, I wrote some more meta last night.

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Teen Wolf: "The Overlooked"

Previously on Teen Wolf: The Girl Who Knew Too Much.

After several episodes of mystifying characterisation decisions and weird, floundering plotlines, Teen Wolf has gone back to doing what it does best: silly action/horror sequences taking place in municipal buildings in the middle of the night. The only problem was that this episode seemingly confirms the fact that Derek did kill Paige, meaning that her flashback storyline apparently isn't some kind of weird Peter Hale fakeout. In case you've forgotten, the whole Derek-killed-his-first-girlfriend is probably the worst thing that ever happened on this show.

Shortly after watching last week's episode, I realised that I'm approximately 1000x more invested in Jennifer and Derek's relationship now I know that she's a skinless druid serial killer. Sorry if this makes me a human nightmare, but I personally think it would be a laugh riot if Derek was just like, "WHATEVS, everyone makes mistakes! And at least she loves me for who I am!" I support this pairing because it's exactly the kind of preposterous storyline that Teen Wolf would be able to make totally entertaining, if not actually "plausible". I mean, is it really that much weirder than Buffy/Angel? Angel doesn't even have a pulse.
The downside is that although I'm happy with the amount of time they spent explaining Jennifer's backstory and motivations in this episode (THANK GOD), I'm not wild about the way they've now given her so much more development and screentime than the as-yet nonexistent relationship between Derek and Cora. Jennifer/Derek is clearly far more important to the storyline than we thought (which: yay!) and I appreciated the nod to the Baldur myth (one of my faves), but nothing is ever gonna make up for the fact that Derek and Cora have had a non-relationship since the moment she showed up.

TeenWolf

MELISSA MCCALL. Despite the fact that she was landed with some truly idiotic expository dialogue at the beginning (look, we know that a thunderstorm is happening, you don't need to tell us), this was a great episode for Mama McCall. Defibrillator warfare! And a moment of satisfying attention to continuity as we remember that she doesn't know Peter is still alive! Also, she's clearly the most sensible, practical person in the show. She just tells Scott all the information she thinks might be relevent to the situation, and trusts him to do what's right. SO MUCH AMAZING TEAMWORK THIS WEEK. And everyone was uncharacteristically cooperative with their parents, perhaps to make up for the fact that Stiles is traumatically torn asunder from Sheriff Linden Ashby -- who you should all be following on Twitter because he's hilarious.
My absolute favourite thing this week was the amount of thoughtful strategising we saw taking place -- probably because Derek Hale, master of the impromptu Terrible Idea, was trapped in an elevator for most of it. After multiple episodes this season where character continuity was completely abandoned, it was great to see how much the main cast have developed into something resembling a functioning team. Every episode brings us closer to that ever-popular fanfic universe where the characters actually like each other, you guys! I would happily watch many more scenes where everyone debates the merits of opening the service hatch in a stalled elevator, or MacGyvers weapons from hospital supplies. Praise be to Jeff Davis for giving us anything as beautiful as Peter Hale lurching into a fight scene with a gigantic hypodermic needle poking out of his chest, helpfully exposed by his cleavage-baring Hot Dad shirt. (Although seriously, Peter Hale needs to tone down the Hot Dad outfits. Chris Argent makes it work, but Peter is definitely edging into aging rentboy territory.)

TeenWolf

As per usual, Dylan O'Brien's face, voice, body and tearducts were a major highlight. The appearance of fandom's favourite baseball bat was A++, and I am FULL OF AGONY about the fact that the Sheriff is still missing. My one criticism would be Stiles' bizarre CPR technique. Now, I know that CPR guidelines are subject to change, but I'm pretty sure that if you just blow into someone's mouth without doing chest compressions, you're basically gonna just inflate them like a balloon, right? (N.B. I am not a doctor.) EDITED TO ADD: Apparently it's called "rescue breathing! I have Learned A Thing today. I was hoping it was something "real" rather than just a bizarre CPR technique, and am happy that Stiles is apparently well-informed about emergency medical techniques. (Maybe because of Scott's asthma?)

TeenWolf

Re: the alpha pack, I'm still pretty puzzled about the whole concept. I really enjoy the idea of Kali/Jennifer (or Julia), partly because it's this absolutely casual reference to bisexuality, but also because it's a genuinely compelling reason for why Jennifer is in the place she is today. However, in many ways it makes the whole Alpha Pack thing make even less sense before. I understand the desire for power as a motivation, just as I understand some people's desire to follow a powerful leader without much care for morality. However, what the hell do the Alphas get out of this deal? Rather than being the leaders of their own packs, they have to kill everyone they know and love, in order to be subservient to Deucalion, who barely seems to care about them anyway. Presumably the Alphas killed their packs voluntarily rather than being tricked into it, otherwise why would they even be loyal to Deucalion? Kali leaving her girlfriend to die on the ground is an excellent origin story for Jennifer Blake's murderous rampage, but it makes Kali's motivations seem even more obscure than before.

The weirdest thing about this episode is that one of the best aspects was the exact same thing that was seriously terrible for the rest of this season: the balance between multiple character stories. Yes, "The Overlooked" was chaotic, but that chaos kind of worked in its favour. There are multiple factions of enemies and frenemies having to work together to defeat each other (much like in seasons 1 and 2), but everyone gets a mini-scene every few minutes to remind us of their goals: Stiles and his father, Scott and the Alpha Pack, Cora and the Hales, etc. There was more of that thoughtfulness in this episode than in most of the previous nine episodes put together, what with the fact that Boyd and Erica's deaths have sunk without trace, and the Cora/Derek relationship failed to materialise for nine episodes. So. Let's hope those issues are cleared up soon, and that future episodes are more like this one and less like the bizarre mistake that was "Visionary". (Although perhaps with, you know, more of an actual plot structure.)

Miscellaneous

• Luv the music in the final scene. SCOTT/STILES FRONDSHIP!!!!
• I feel like I say this every week (who am I kidding, I definitely say this every week), but SCISAAC/ALLISON THREESOME NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
• How many thunderstorms does Becaon Hills have each year? 200?
• Has anyone else noticed that the Alpha Twins kinda have cartoon boy voices?
• Peter and Scott in the laundry chute, LOLOLOL.
• "She's kinda hot." -- This feeds into my headcanon of Isaac being a dude who is slyly attracted to literally every single person on the show. God, I love Daniel Sharman. Did you know he's playing a woman in his next movie? A movie about a gigolo in the 1950s, set in the French Riviera? Well, NOW YOU DO. Treasure that information. 
• Really enjoyed the detail of using cellphone cameras to keep track of what was going on inside the hospital. Honestly, the whole sequence of group-strategy scenes in this episode was excellent, and genre-savvy to an extent that we rarely see in this show. It was such a turnaround from the previous couple of episodes that I wondered if it was by a different writer than before, but in fact it's the exact same writer/director pairing as "Currents" and "Visionary" (ie probably the two worst episodes so far): Jeff Davis and Russell Mulcahy.

Previous Teen Wolf posts.

Find me on Twitter @hello_tailor, and Tumblr at hellotailor.

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Teen Wolf: The Girl Who Knew Too Much.

Previously on Teen Wolf: "Visionary".

Before we move onto this week's review, I've gotta mention that immediately after posting last week's, I heard a theory that I reeeeally hope is true. That is, that the "Derek" we saw in last week's flashbacks is actually Peter Hale. I hope this is the case because otherwise Derek is a pretty terrible character, both writing-wise and as a person. However, if it does turn out to be Peter Hale then I'm still not going to be enormously impressed, because the clues/foreshadowing in the episode were kind of nonsensical. But I'll discuss that in more detail if/when we learn more in future episodes.
"The Girl Who Knew Too Much" was back on classic Teen Wolf form, featuring multiple scenes in the boy's locker room for no reason whatsoever. How many people have died there, now? Not to mention all the fight scenes. Murdering each other in the highschool boy's locker room in the middle of the night: the favourite hobby of Beacon Hills citizens. What I don't understand is why the lights weren't on at the beginning of the episode, because there were clearly a bunch of kids in the school for that music practice. My personal theory is that nobody switched them on because nobody in Beacon Hills has the natural mammalian survival instinct of being afraid of the dark. At last, an explanation for why so many of them wander off into the forest to die! It must be something in the water. Alternatively, they're all were-lemmings.

Re: this week's crop of hilarious murders, I'm sooooo annoyed that Stiles didn't immediately open his werewolf explanation with Cora wolfing out. Doesn't he read fanfic?? HELLO. Also, I was waiting and waiting for Sheriff Stilinski to say that he thinks Stiles is a serial killer, because this episode was like the cherry on the cake of Stiles showing up at every murder scene ever. But emotionally, the final straw was when Stiles was trapped on the opposite side of a door while his father was in mortal peril. THIS IS THE KIND OF "THIS MIGHT HURT" THAT I WAS HOPING FOR THIS SEASON. Anything happening to Stiles' dad = maximum agony. Maximum agony. Particularly since the Sheriff is gonna make excellent bait for Stiles next week, since Stiles is a virgin and a guardian and a warrior and a philosopher. (I'm not sure how he's a healer, but just let me run with this theory until it gets Jossed, OK?)

One of the funniest elements of this week's Teen Wolf is that the FBI have been "on their way" to Beacon Hills for like SIX WEEKS.
— H. Tailor (@Hello_Tailor) July 30, 2013

Something like 30 people have been violently murdered in Beacon Hills in the last year, and the FBI are like, "Meh, let's leave it a week."
— H. Tailor (@Hello_Tailor) July 30, 2013

Knowing Beacon Hills, the FBI will show up and turn out to be some kind of subterranean hellbeast. "WE FEAST ON HUMAN FLESH," they explain.
— H. Tailor (@Hello_Tailor) July 30, 2013

"Good afternoon, I'm Agent Alucard," says the FBI guy. Ten weeks later, Stiles sees "Alucard" spelled out in a mirror, and gasps. #TeenWolf
— H. Tailor (@Hello_Tailor) July 30, 2013

Speaking as a wordsmith and a journalist, I would describe Jennifer's character progression in this episode as a transition from "LOL" to "WTF". We began with another of those deliciously unrealistic English classes of which teen dramas are so fond. Is she teaching everyone an important Metaphor Lesson that will Come In Useful later in the show? Are she and Lydia flirting with each other? We may never know, because it's now been revealed that Jennifer Blake is Gary Oldman's skinless psycho character from Hannibal, and is therefore almost certainly not going to get hired to teach at Beacon Hills High next term.
I have decidedly mixed feelings over the demise of Cute Girlfriend Jennifer Blake. On the one hand, it was fairly clear from the start that she'd end up either evil or dead, because there's no room for any more "normal people" in Teen Wolf's main cast. However, I do find it irritating that all the misogynist anti-Dennifer fans will now get to feel vindicated on their theories that Jennifer was ~bad news all along~. I feel I should preface this with the admission that most of my favourite ships are slash ships, but I've seen this time and time again in multiple fandoms, and it's always dismal: People get invested in a slash pairing, and then get monumentally enraged when one of the main two guys get a female love interest in canon. After that, the only possible reaction is to decide that the female love interest is a poorly-written evil whorebitch from hell, and that she should drop dead. And it doesn't help when canon turns around and seemingly proves them right.
Jennifer's reveal was disappointingly lacking in nuance. Rather than showing her as a more interesting "shades of grey" character who did some bad things for a reason, she's both an evil seductress and a hideous monster. Her motivations and personality seem simultaneously less complex and less rational than those of the notoriously evil Kate Argent. Kate tortured people, seduced a teenage boy and burned an entire family alive in their own house because she believed that werewolves were unequivocally evil, and because she was raised by a psychopath who taught her that ends always justified the means. Jennifer killed a bunch of people because she worships a bloodthirsty pagan god, and also (possibly?) because she gains their power/life-force when they die. And she disguised herself as a cute schoolteacher and seduced Derek because... of reasons...?

source: @MTVteenwolf

I mean, I don't doubt that there may be some good reasons for her to be an evil mass-murdering monster, but at the moment all we really have is the possible explanation that she was mutilated as a child. And that she's Secretly Evil. I'm just disappointed that rather than developing her into a three-dimensional villain, this revelation has almost reduced her as a character. Plus, it's yet another disastrous relationship for Derek Hale, the king of manpain. Oh, and I don't understand how she can instantaneously heal a bullet wound and disguise her appearance to the extent that she could have sex with a werewolf, but she can't heal her facial scarring. Although this is Teen Wolf, so I can let that shit slide.
Aside from the whole Jennifer business, this was a relatively good week for the main gurlz. Lydia was fantastic -- or at least Holland Roden was fantastic, because Lydia's life is 100% terrible, up to and including screaming "I'M PSYCHIC!" at a roomful of people who clearly think she's unhinged. I'm glad they finally got round to mentioning that she's a banshee, because OBVS. And Allison! Someone leave me to die, because that Allison/Scott/Isaac threesome NEEDS TO HAPPEN, now more than ever. Isaac needs to spend every episode looking worried and being saved by tough ladies, because wow. Also, I loved Allison's coat in this episode. Very classy.
Finally, I can't help but mention that the Cora/Derek situation continues to be dire. I think the bedside scene was meant to strengthen their onscreen relationship, but IMO Cora's entire character arc and relationship with Derek continues to be utterly baffling. WHY DIDN'T HE REACT WHEN SHE CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD? Why do they never interact in a way that makes sense? And I don't mean like, "These people are emotionally damaged and find it impossible to express their feelings." I mean in the sense that there's been no evidence up until now that they are anything other than casual acquaintances who are forced to share the same apartment.
It's a bizarre counterpoint to Cora's reaction to Boyd's death, in that she cares wayyyy more than people like Scott and Stiles who have known him for months/years. Particularly Scott, who you'd think would at least get one scene of being upset because one of his fellow Teen Wolves have kicked the bucket. Hint: If one of your characters is saying things like, "Why don't you care that Boyd's dead?" it only points out to the audience that it's weird for people to not mention their recently-murdered friend. Stiles had more of an emotional reaction to the deaths of Rachel and the Sheriff's deputy than to Boyd. Considering the fact that Teen Wolf was given a 24-episode season this year, I find it really strange that so many important things like the Derek/Cora reunion and the apparent Boyd/Cora friendship take place offscreen, when we still get scenes like Scott and Ms Morrell glaring at each other for three solid minutes and explaining stuff that we already knew.

Miscellaneous

• Chris Argent is... HOT DAD TOMB RAIDER.
• Nothing has ever been more convincing than Ethan adjusting Danny's tie so that his top button is undone and the tie is two inches below it, and then declaring it "perfect". TEEN GAYZ.
• "Voltron wolf." 
• Of course Derek and Jennifer meet in a romantic deserted underpass. Derek can ONLY go on dates to derelict and/or abandoned buildings.
• Seriously though, that scene with Ms Morrell was stilted and pointless. WHY.
• At the beginning of the episode, my brother was all, "Who's that?" when the Sheriff's deputy showed up, and I was like, "Intern Dana from Welcome to Night Vale". I felt SO VINDICATED when we got to see her doppelganger. Kill your double!! Kill your double!! (N.B. Do we actually know why she saw herself as a corpse before she died? Or was that just a weird camera thing? Or was she a ghost?)
• How did Jennifer get hold of Aiden's phone? Do her Darach powers give her control over cellphones, as evidenced in episode 1?
• That concert scene was MAXIMUM HILARIOUS. The entire orchestra went nuts and started playing a cross between the Dark Knight Rises chanting soundtrack and, like, ritual drumming, but the audience just sort of looked around uncomfortably until someone actually died onstage. BEACON HILLS. Why hasn't everyone left town yet. How is anyone still alive.
• Why didn't Lydia tell anyone where she was going when she followed that fake text from Aiden? Y'ALL NEED TO LEARN ABOUT THE BUDDY SYSTEM.

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Teen Wolf, "Visionary".

Previously on Teen Wolf: "Currents". 

This episode was so shitty that I considered not writing a review at all, because this is clearly not going to be a funny or entertaining post. But then I decided, hey! That would be a fitting commentary on the episode itself, which was not funny or entertaining either. As one of my friends put it on Twitter, "If this was a fanfic, I would've X-ed out ages ago."

Most of my problems with this episode boil down to two main issues: the fact that it was total nonsense, and the continuation of this season's ongoing effort to ruin Derek Hale for everyone. That second issue is pretty damn ironic, because the apparent aim of Derek's backstory is to make him seem more sympathetic and tragic, but instead he ended up looking like even more of an asshole than before. Which is, unfortunately, a microcosm of the failure of this season's "This Might Hurt" tagline.
At first, the whole "This Might Hurt" theme seemed like an excellent idea. Yes, I realise that the slogan was thought up by an MTV marketing team rather than the actual Teen Wolf writers, but it fits perfectly with Jeff Davis' love of torturing beloved characters. And we were looking forward to it! Teen Wolf thrives on angst and violence and doomed romance. HOWEVER. 90% of this season's angst, violence, and doomed romance has been focused on Derek, who does not need it. Like, his character has already MAXED OUT on trauma, what with his entire family being burned to death, and having been seduced by an evil hunter who presumably warped his view of sex and relationships for life. In TV Land, where every "dark" and "misunderstood" character has to be fueled by childhood trauma and dead-relative manpain, Derek Hale was already lightyears ahead of everyone else in Teen Wolf.

In the first two seasons, Derek Hale was a compelling character because every hint of backstory helped us make sense of his emotionally stunted personality. When you know that his family were all murdered by his first girlfriend (or, as we now know, not his first girlfriend), you have an immediate explanation for why he's terrible at interpersonal relationships and is suffering from a pretty clear case of PTSD. Basically, Derek's method of surviving his horrible life is just to react to everything without thinking it through, because his universe is a cruel and chaotic place, and he never got the chance to learn how to think things through. As a characterisation choice, this made perfect sense, and was also a really beautiful example of how to make an outwardly assholic character seem tragic and sympathetic -- without negating his many personal flaws.

source

Season 3 has gone out of its way to negate this by adding a bunch of angst subplots that either led nowhere (Cora) or seemed completely superfluous (Erica and Boyd). Boyd's death was particularly irritating, because it was almost pointless from a "This Might Hurt" standpoint (because Isaac would have been a more "hurtful" death, and because Boyd was generally underutilised as a character). Also, as I previously pointed out, Derek doesn't need any more manpain. And there was a direct corrolation between Boyd and Paige's deaths, because they both had this implausible attitude towards their impending demise: to reassure Derek that it was "worth it". Or in Paige's case, that she somehow ~knew all along~ that it was going to happen, and that she still loved him. I'm sorry, but this is bullshit. Yes, Paige and Derek were involved in an ~intense teen romance, but Paige was given BARELY any character development and was very obviously an accessory to Derek's manpain. And if anything, her bizarrely sanguine attitude towards being violently murdered was even less believable than Boyd's, because she was a fifteen-year-old girl, and had no previous exposure to violence. This was a by-the-book example of the fridged girlfriend trope:

1. Female character is introduced as an object of desire, usually with some kind of ~quirky detail to fill in for the fact that there's no time to give her a personality or life of her own. In this case, it's playing the cello.
2. Male hero immediately falls in love with her, because of reasons. 
3. Montage of idyllic love scenes. (In this case located in an abandoned distillery, because Derek Fucking Hale.)
4. Girlfriend is promptly murdered, giving the hero ample reason to either angst forever (because it's "his fault") or to go on a revenge-fuelled killing spree and/or bout of manly alcoholism.

Now, everyone go watch this multifandom fanvid about manpain and the fridged girlfriend trope, and try telling me that Paige Nolastname's life and death were even remotely meaningful. And don't even get me started on Young Derek Hale as a gross, douchey example of "romantic bullying" in young teen romances. HE DOESN'T EVEN ASK IF SHE WANTS THE BITE.
The introduction of another bad-idea romance into Derek's life at least partially undermined what we already knew about his relationship with Kate. The idea of inexperienced teen Derek being exploited by an older woman who then murdered his entire family is deeply, deeply tragic and is a perfect origin story for the emotionally paralyzed angstbucket we see today. However, the addition of "Derek Hale: douchey stalker who semi-murdered his first girlfriend" is not doing this characterisation any favours. There are ways for a character to kill someone they love and still have it be emotionally compelling, but this was not one of them. "This Might Hurt" would be a suitable tagline if Stiles accidentally shot his father while aiming at Deucalion. "This Might Hurt" would work if Peter Hale managed to persuade everyone that Deaton is secretly an evil druid. "This Might Hurt" would work if Isaac was killed by the Alpha Pack, and Scott was then arrested for his murder. Having Derek go through with this (quite frankly IDIOTIC) plan to have a 7-foot werewolf psycho bite his highschool girlfriend? NOT SO MUCH.
OK, so I definitely have a few more issues with the utter failure of Derek Hale as a boyfriend (WHAT A DOUCHE) and Derek Hale's backstory as a storytelling technique (GODAWFUL), but I feel it's time to move onto the other aspect of why this episode sucked: ie, the fact that it didn't make any fucking sense. Now, unreliable narrators can often make things interesting, but in this case I felt that Peter and Gerard's unreliable narration was a bizarre storytelling choice, because their lies only "work" if Scott and Stiles never have a conversation about what they just learned. Which would be pretty odd, firstly because they're best friends, secondly because they have no motivation not to share info with each other, and finally because Stiles is Scott's first port of call when Thinking needs to get done
The fact that Peter was always a total Voldemort (Tom Riddle?) would have been an interesting revelation were it not for the fact that it doesn't even make sense within this very episode. In Season 1, Derek says that before the fire, Peter was "different". Now, what we could take from this is that Peter was a psychopath all along, but he was just better at hiding it when Derek was a teenager. However, if Peter was the one to talk Derek into killing his girlfriend then I find it COMPLETELY implausible that Derek would continue to trust Peter after that, no matter how stupid Derek was at fifteen.
The most confusing piece of nonsense in this episode was the issue of the werewolf aging process. Now, it may just be that I'm a moron who just missed some sensible explanation for all this, but there was some weird shit going on with the ages in those flashbacks. Most noticeably, Peter Hale (now 35-40) appeared to be about 19 during the flashbacks, which were set, at most, about ten years ago. Meanwhile Derek (now aged ~25) was a Sophomore. However, the rest of the "older" characters (Sheriff Stilinski; both the Argent men; the Alphas) were played by the same actors. Now, the conversation between Peter, Stiles and Cora implied that there was something unusual about the werewolf aging process, BUT Cora and Derek both look exactly like their real ages. And there was no evidence that the flashbacks took place any longer than 10 years ago, which would make sense from a normal chronological perspective. So WHY THE HELL WAS PETER HALE PLAYED BY A YOUNGER ACTOR?
There were many elements of ridiculous idiocy in this episode that were perfectly acceptable from a Teen Wolf perspective. For example, the fact that Paige was miming cello very, very poorly: absolutely fine. The hilarious druid/Greek myth werewolf explanation that ignored centuries of well-known mythology and historical research: 100% normal, for supernatural teen media. Deucalion going blind (rather than dying) when Gerard stabbed him in the eyes with electrified arrows? Fine, I'll go with it. But entirety of Derek's backstory was so poorly handled that I just can't swallow it.

Miscellaneous

• TALIA HALE. I've been waiting for a real wolf werewolf since this show began, and Talia was AWESOME. In fact, I'd say she was the best part of the flashback sequence... except for the final scene, where she was basically like, "You're still beautiful, Derek. I don't mind that you just thoughtlessly killed your girlfriend." TERRIBLE. TERRIBLE.
• At least Stiles had his brain switched on. I admit I LOLed when he started explaining the concept of "unreliable narrator" to Cora. THIS IS WHY PEOPLE GO TO HIGH SCHOOL, CORA. So they can use handy analogies from English class to explain the story arcs of their own lives. 
• Is there an explanation for why Peter Hale was randomly stalking his teenage nephew on school grounds? Or is that just a Beacon Hills tradition, like hanging out in the boy's locker room after dark?
• Speaking of Beacon Hills traditions, I loved the reference to the town's "long line of animal attacks". THIS EPISODE IS COLD HARD PROOF THAT PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DROPPING LIKE FLIES IN BEACON HILLS FOR DECADES, AND YET NO ONE HAS DONE ANYTHING ABOUT IT. What happened to the FBI taskforce who were supposedly called in like four episodes ago?
• Young Peter Hale = Tom Marvolo Riddle, just like how Cora = Dawn Summers, and Chris Argent = Ser Jorah.
• Gerard Argent is so obviously evil that I find it 100000% unbelievable that anyone except his son trusts him AT ALL, ABOUT ANYTHING. I'm sorry, but literally everything he says is the creepiest thing ever, and now he's actually EXCRETING BLACK SLIME FROM HIS FACIAL ORIFICES. He's practically Sauron. 
• "An abandoned distillery? Is this proof that Derek can only get his bone on in abandoned buildings?" -- commentary from my brother.
• "Is it possible for a show like Teen Wolf to jump the shark? And if so, how could we tell?" -- further commentary from my brother, and something for us to ponder while we wait for the next episode.

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Teen Wolf: "Currents".

Previously on Teen Wolf: "Motel California".

Ordinarily I'd be giving this episode a very positive review. It was full of the kind of Teen Wolf nonsense that usually warms the cockles of my heart: boner jokes, half-assed plans plans like "flood your apartment and electrify the water", Isaac wearing cute knitwear, werewolves jumping 10 feet in the air like Spring-Heeled Jack, Lydia being awesome. However, Boyd's character arc has been so poorly handled that it ended up overshadowing my enjoyment of the rest of the episode.

I heard a rumour recently that Isaac would be killed off in this episode, and my immediate reaction was "NO!!!" because a) Isaac has endured constant torment for two solid seasons now, and b) why kill him? It would be cold hard proof that Jeff Davis is indeed Voldemort. However, I wouldn't necessarily have been annoyed with it as a writing decision, because it would've been in keeping with Teen Wolf's overall tone as a show where bad things happen to good people, and everything is tragic and dismal all the time. However, killing off Boyd struck me as total bullshit.

Since the introduction of the three new betas, Boyd has always been the one with the smallest amount of useful screentime. Until last week he had almost no backstory, and overall he's been given fewer lines and less agency than almost anyone else in the cast. This season he's had maybe three good moments, including this episode's electrocution plan and last week's revelation about his sister. And in the light of his death, this now makes it seem as if he was written to be a disposable character. Which surprises me, because Teen Wolf's M.O. is to torture its audience by torturing its characters, and it's kind of difficult for the audience to get attached to a character when he's rarely given anything to say.
Why did Boyd die? From an emotional standpoint, he's yet another addition to Derek's Manpain Roster of tragic deaths... but then again, Isaac would've been a far more effective choice if they wanted to torture Derek some more. It may have been necessary for Derek to "kill" one of the betas in order for the Alpha Pack plotline to progress, so Boyd's death presumably makes sense in the long run... but to me, it felt cheapened by his utter lack of character development. Even his method of death was poorly handled, as he apparently died from being forcibly impaled on Derek's fingernails?? This looked like a really difficult way to die, even if he was powerless from being electrocuted. I mean, fingers are bendy. How on earth could the twins have dropped 200lbs of Boyd onto Derek's hands and not had Derek's hands just... bend away, instead of going all the way through Boyd's ribcage and puncturing his lungs to the extent that he was dead within a minute? I realise this is a nitpick, but logistically speaking, Boyd's death was impossible.

Who was Boyd? Do we even have a solid idea of his personality and life goals? Why on earth did he tell Derek that the bite was "worth it" when a couple of weeks ago, he was telling Stiles that he'd just lost his only friend? All of these issues are exacerbated by the fact that out of all the Teen Wolves in Teen Wolf, the two fatalities so far have been the sexy blonde girl and the black guy who never got much dialogue: two crappy old horror movie tropes that Teen Wolf should really be trying to subvert rather than copy. Of the three betas, the girl got to be sexy and then dead, the black guy got to be silent (and occasionally threatening) and then dead, and the white guy got a ton of screentime and a tragic backstory. Don't get me wrong, I love Isaac. But I feel like I never got the chance to love Boyd because he was always given so little to say or do.

Out of the main cast this season (including tertiary characters such as family members and the Alpha Pack), nine characters are white men, and nine are women and/or people of colour. Among the new characters, everyone except Kali has received more character development and useful screentime than Boyd, who has been around longer than any of them. The Twins both got romantic subplots and multiple interactions with the main cast, Jennifer Blake is Derek's love-interest, and Deucalion is the primary villain of the series. Meanwhile, even after two seasons we know very little about Boyd, either in terms of his personality or basic details such as his sexuality or day-to-day life. During school scenes, Allison, Lydia, Stiles, Scott, Danny and the Twins are regularly in the same classes together, but Boyd is rarely there. Is he meant to be a year older than the rest of the cast...? I honestly do not know. And I know setting it out like this makes it sound like a coldly mathematical issue of ~demographics~ and screentime, but seriously. When you think about it, the whole Boyd situation does not look good.
Anyhow, if there's anyone still reading this: time to talk about the rest of the episode. First of all, the opening scenes were 10000% NIGHTMARE for me, because I have a phobia of moths. Being trapped in a car full of attack-moths is pretty much my idea of hell. And didn't they say last week that someone from the FBI was gonna show up and start solving this whole serial-killer druid problem? You know, so as to avoid a whole bunch of people dying while the local Sheriff and a bunch of traumatised teenagers simultaneously fumble around, trying not to tell each other what's going on? The only "good" outcome of this is my continuing belief that Sheriff Stilinski thinks Stiles is the killer. Like, seriously. STILES HAS A SECRET. HE'S OUT ALL THE TIME, AND WON'T TELL ANYONE WHERE HE WAS. HE'S OBSESSED WITH THE MURDERS. HE'S ALWAYS AT EVERY CRIME SCENE. Sheriff Stilinski is having a nervous breakdown right now because he thinks his son is a psychotic druid murderer. This is just a gold hard fact (that I believe in my head with little to no evidence to support it).

Derek's apartment is a real mystery in this episode. First of all, how does his submarine-style klaxon alert system work? And how did one of the Alpha Pack manage to draw that werewolf swastika on the window in the 2 seconds it took for Derek to look around and check the alarm? ALSO, how did they flood his apartment?? Is it completely watertight?? He's on like the eleventh floor of the building -- how does that even work without leaking onto the floor below?? I can only assume that he owns the entire building, because it's totally unlivable (GIANT HOLES IN THE WALLS!!) but has power, so he's probably not squatting in a derelict building. And no landlord would be OK with all the shit he pulls, like having constant murderfights with werewolves in the middle of the night, and flooding an entire floor.

I think I've given up on Cora. Even if we eventually find out what she's been doing for the past 6 years, the complete absense of any Cora/Derek relationship scenes have ruined her character development in this show. As a viewer, I have no understanding of what she's feeling, or why she acts the way she does. I theorise that she and Derek care about each other but are too fucked up to express it, but honestly, I see no actual evidence of that onscreen. Cora comes across as a tough, angry character, but with no emotional depth or complexity. When she cried over Boyd's body I just felt confused, because we'd barely seen any development of a Boyd/Cora relationship, so it felt like she was just crying because someone had to cry. I suspect she's working with the Alpha Pack, but surely that'd give her more reason to get closer to Derek, not less. I'M BAFFLED.
Finally: what, exactly, was the plan with regards to Ms Blake? The Twins are her students so they couldn't have let her live, because she'd obviously be able to identify them to the police. So Ethan and Aiden must have been 100% OK with the idea of kidnapping and then murdering their innocent, human teacher as part of a werewolf power-play. This doesn't exactly help the show's case as it attempts to ~humanise~ the twins as individual characters with functioning emotions and the potential to be redeemed.

Miscellaneous

• SCISAAC were quadruple hilarious in this episode. Sleeping in Melissa's room! Completely incapable of lying to her when she asks what the hell they're doing there! SCISAAC ARE BEYOND ADORABLE. 
• WHY IS LYDIA STILL BANGING AIDEN?? HE IS AN EVIL WEREWOLF. STILES TOLD HER LIKE TWO WEEKS AGO. And he just helped murder Boyd. If she is still making out with him next week, I am gonna be so annoyed, because it just makes no sense whatsoever as a character choice.
• ISAAC LAHEY PERSONALITY ROULETTE: Despite moving in with Scott after Derek acted like a complete asshole last week, he agreed to help Boyd protect Derek's apartment! Without even seeming reluctant, afraid, or pissed off! Whyyyyy. 
• Oddly enough, this episode was fully of genuinely excellent scenes: Stiles and Danny in the hospital (HILARIOUS), the ouija board scene, and Scott giving Stiles sensible and emotionally intelligent advice about his dad. 
• What the hell was Allison wearing? Was it the special tunic that Night Vale citizens wear on Date Night? (This reference will only make sense if you listen to Welcome To Night Vale. In other news, everyone should definitely listen to Welcome To Night Vale, because it is awesome.)
• IRL LOL as Deaton persists in being unnecessarily cryptic, even when asking for someone to save his life. "Find me!" he says mysteriously, before hanging up the phone. PLEASE ELABORATE!!!!!
• Also, that one time when a character sent a text message that read: "I found something." WHAT A TERRIBLE MESSAGE. I hate it when people on TV do this. "I've got something really dramatic to tell you, but it can't happen until we're both onscreen in the same geographical location!" DUDE, YOU MIGHT BE DEAD BY THEN. Terrible. Stop. The only legitimate reason to do this is if you think someone might be wiretapping your phone, and I'm pretty sure that isn't a concern in Beacon Hills. 
• Scott/Allison boner jokes = A++, would watch again.
• So... Beacon Hills really is a Hellmouth, then?
• This week on Derek Is The Worst: did he really use the "I'm going to rip your throat out... with my teeth." line AGAIN? Derek, it was a terrible threat the first time, and it's even worse when you used it again. Derek, you're the worst.
• Lydia got some GREAT stuff in this episode. Love her. I just wish she wasn't INEXPLICABLY hooking up with an evil werewolf for no discernible reason.
• Scott was super cute in this episode, particularly when fanboying his mum, and bringing her lunch at work. :)))) Please don't die, Melissa McCall!!
• Connected to that previous point: I'm pretty sure that Scott McCall is the only person who could get away with going up to an injured woman in a hospital waiting room and being all, "I've heard human contact can help with pain." If someone did that to me I would be soooo creeped out. 
• (P.S. If anyone's wondering why there's only one picture of Boyd in this predominantly Boyd-centric post, it's because only one of this week's official promo pics featured Boyd. Make of that what you will.)

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Teen Wolf: "Frayed".

Previously on Teen Wolf: "Unleashed".

The title refers to the frayed nature of the shirts worn by most of the main cast. Scott, Boyd, Derek and Ennis all suffered a severe clawing, while Ethan and Aiden avoided the issue by showing up to the fight shirtless and then twinsforming into the werewolf megazord again. In case you're still curious about what happens to their pants when they stick themselves together with magical morphing werewolf glue, Jeff Davis has given us an answer. Kind of.
This episode featured what felt like decades of flashback footage of yet another werewolf showdown. As usual, everyone ran at each other while yelling -- a prime martial arts technique, if you are three years old. Happily, this scene catered to my neverending fascination with Beacon Hills' urban planning, because it took place in a heretofore unmentioned post-apocalyptic abandoned shopping mall. Which Scott and Isaac rode into on Scott's new motor scooter. (It's unclear whether this was at ground level or not, because Derek and Ennis fell at least three storeys down from there. WHATEVS.)

Sadly, most of those flashback scenes were kinda pointless, because we already knew what was going to happen. And @snazdoll pointed out on Twitter, all that slow-motion glowering gave us ample time to consider the bafflingly confused character continuity.
I wouldn't say this was a bad episode, as such. There were plenty of awesome moments, such as any time Stiles, Danny, Allison or Lydia were onscreen. However, the flashback-based plot structure didn't really work for me. "I can't believe Derek is really dead," said Scott, gazing dramatically into the camera in the first scene of the episode. I'm with you there, Scott. I can't believe he's dead, either. Because he really obviously isn't. Also, from a structural standpoint, this episode could've done with way more scenes in the school bus (bottle episode, anyone?) and less time spent flashing back to shots of the Twinsformers doing angry shirtless backflips in the dark.
The school bus scenes were the best for two classically Teen Wolfian reasons. 1) Fantastic comedy acting from Stiles, Coach Finstock, and walk-on role winner Jared (GREENBERG??), and 2) hilarious unintentional comedy from everyone else. Like, how could anyone fail to notice Boyd's sudden werewolf manicure, glowing yellow eyes, and loud growling? Have we got to the point now where everyone in Beacon Hills (aside from Danny, apparently), is 100% aware of werewolves and is just trying to stay out of the way? "Oh god, they're going to have a werewolf showdown on the fucking school bus in broad daylight?! EVERYONE STAY CALM AND PRETEND NOT TO SEE ANYTHING WEIRD GOING ON."
In bizarre character continuity news, what the hell was up with Lydia and Aiden?? Last week when Stiles told her that Aiden was a murderous alpha werewolf, Lydia seemed understandably appalled. She'd just dodged a serious bullet -- getting screwed over once again by an evil werewolf, because Scott, Allison etc all failed to tell her what was going on. Naturally, I assumed that she'd start avoiding Aiden at once. But this week she's making out with him, like there aren't a zillion other hot guys in Beacon Hills?? I'd understand this if the show seemed to be taking her in a seriously self-destructive route, but honestly that did not seem the case AT ALL until now. She just seemed like she was on the rebound, and was keen to avoid the traumatic horror of the Peter Hale situation last year. Why the hell would she purposefully add to the danger/weirdness in her life by hooking up with Aiden?? (Oh, and on a similar note... WHY HAS NO ONE WARNED DANNY THAT ETHAN IS A DANGEROUS WEREWOLF MURDERER?)

This week's dose of Scallison was maximum adorable. Specifically, Pacifist Superman Scott McCall made several adorable (if doomed) appearances, and Allison was a stone cold badass. Even better, her amateur surgery scene was a genuinely excellent example of why Crystal Reed need wayyyy more screentime in this show. Ghost Victoria Argent ("This must be done CLINICALLY AND UNEMOTIONALLY," she hisses unhelpfully as Allison cries over the body of her dying ex-boyfriend) was scary as fuq, and I greatly hope that she shows up more in the future, like Fraser's ghost dad in Due South or Cylon #6 in Battlestar Galactica.

(N.B. It's probably best if we forget the fact that this scene takes place in a rest-stop bathroom. And that for some reason no one comes in to either use that bathroom, or to find out why two teen girls and two teen boys all ran in there as soon as the school bus stopped. I was half expecting Coach Finstock to walk in while Allison was helping Scott put his shirt on, and to be all ~scandalised. Is this further evidence that everyone in Beacon Hills knows what's going on, and are just avoiding the werewolf shit at all costs? "DON'T USE THE MEN'S BATHROOM HERE, Scott McCall just went in and it looked like he was bleeding from a chest wound. Again.")

Finally, this episode confirmed a theory I've held close to my heart for a long time: that Derek Hale is terrified of stairs. After two seasons of avoiding stairs at all costs (how many times has he leapt over the entire staircase at the Hale House, anyway?), he's been defeated by a static escalator -- ie, stairs. Stairs are his Achilles heel. A detail that is fittingly mirrored by his mortal enemy Deucalion, who in the space of five episodes has now had two separate scenes where he menaces someone in an elevator. Elevators are his strength. Stairs are Derek's weakness. You do the math. (I'm a genius.)

Miscellaneous

• I didn't think Derek could outdo himself re: last week's example of Being The Worst, but no. He definitely has. So, you know how girls really love it when you follow them to work the morning after you meet them for the first time? Well, girls love it even more when you show up at their car after work, covered in blood. It's like a fun reminder of the first time you met them, also covered in blood! Derek and Jennifer will be dating in no time. (Derek Hale, You're The Worst.)
• Why did no one put a dressing on Scott's wound? Like for example, HIS MOTHER, THE NURSE??
• This week in "Peter Hale and Deucalion are the same person" -- do they have the same stylist? They're wearing really similar styles of collarless jacket in this episode.
• SCISAAC ON A BIKE. 
• CROL @ Boyd's sleeveless leather jacket. In other news, why can't he get some actual dialogue for once? This is getting ridiculous.
• LUV Allison's slouchy sweatpants and knit jumper in this episode. Luv that Lydia wears short skirts and Allison wears t-shirts but they're still totally BFFs because in real life, teen girl doesn't necessarily mean Mean Girl. 
• "Why is the default plan always murder? Just once, can't someone try to come up with something that doesn't involve killing everyone?" -- Who else thinks Scott is still gonna be asking himself this question in ten seasons' time?
• There are way too many characters now. What is Ms Morrell's motivation? What is Kali's?? Are we ever going to get a rational explanation for the way Cora and Derek act around each other (ie, not like long-lost siblings)?? On a scale of one to ten, how evil are the Twins? Are they actually teenagers, or are they 23-year-olds who Deucalian put in high school to keep an eye on Scott? What's the Sheriff up to? Does Isaac have an official foster family? SCREAM.
• "Will Sterek ever become canon?"

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