Fall 2012 Menswear: Yohji Yamamoto, Burberry, Etro, Moschino, Gaultier, Umit Benan, Cavalli, Kris Van Asshe, Paul Joe, and Versace.

Yohji Yamamoto

Many designers take a stab at the loosely-tailored casual suit, but in my opinion none of them ever measure up to Yohji Yamamoto. I rarely post other designers' attempts because they tend to look like ill-fitting pajamas, but with Yamamoto there's always a real solid elegence to his menswear, highlighted by his model choices. Yamamoto is a great proponent of using "real"-looking models, something that's always more common in menswear runway shows than in women. He's right, as well... a sylphlike 18-year-old wouldn't look nearly as good in outfits like this as this guy:

Another thing I count in Yamamoto's favour is that like Vivienne Westwood, he creates clothes that are authentic to his own wardrobe. One never has any doubt that Yamamoto would wear almost any look from his menswear collections, to the extent that he could easily blend in with his models on the runway.

Stolid, traditional fabrics such as tweed anchored the more unusual-looking (by everyday streetwear standards, that is) aspects of Yamamoto's designs, such as double lapels and exaggerated assymmetry. There wasn't a fitted trouser in sight, but in the case of Yamamoto that's an expectation rather than a disappointment, and as a rule they seemed more practical and comfortable than unwieldy or extreme.

Burberry Prorsum
At the other end of the spectrum we have the perfect -- yes, perfect -- tailoring of Burberry, brand of the dapper and beautiful young man who likes to imagine that he's just on the way back from a grouse hunt in 1915, but who in fact is probably a graphic designer.

Etro
I love this pattern. There's something about it that almost edges it into 90s territory (and therefore tackiness), but most of the outfits seemed to pull it off somehow.

This was yet another show celebrating the long, tailored coat -- a look which I hope becomes more popular on the street, and hopefully not limited to hundreds upon hundreds of near-identical black trenchcoats (although if that does happen, I implore everyone to sew red thread into their lapel buttonholes, like Sherlock).

And the monochromatic paisley-esque patterns return more delicately in outfits such as this, just a tiny edge away from being flamboyant. The details on the trousers and accessories are offset by the wall of black velvet provided by his coat.

Moschino
Brick pattern. Not really to my tastes -- too much like a Windows 95 background -- but I post it because...

Jean Paul Gaultier
...a couple of days later, Gaultier showed something suspiciously similar. Did one steal the idea from the other? Did they both go to the same street-art show? We may never know. But both shows also featured outfits made up from grey brick-print trousers and dark jackets, later on. My personal favourite is Gaultier, though, although in general the Gaultier show didn't live up to my expectations.

Umit Benan
Umit Benan's was a concept show, and another one modeled by non-professionals -- although it might be inaccurate to describe them as Elizabeth Hurley's "civilians". The entire show was solidly military, reflecting Benan's interest in military service -- an obligation that under Turkish law, he still has to undertake. The show was heavily masculine and to my eye, not as imaginative as it could have been, but I'm far from the target audience for Umit Benan's designs. Some items such as this jacket -- a rare example of leather sleeves looking OK -- stood out for me, though. The collar and buttoning pattern in particular caught my eye, and almost make up for the sack-like appearance of the trousers.

Roberto Cavalli
Yet another collection of attractive but yawn-inducing Cavalli menswear, occasionally spruced up by outfits such as this one, which made me think of possible costumes for the upcoming Hunger Games movie.

Kris Van Asshe
Do these jackets look like straightjackets? Possibly, but I like them nontheless. There's a certain danger of over-cinching, though.

Paul & Joe
A splendid combination of modern and old-fashioned suitmaking. 

Versace
Presented without comment.

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Pre-Fall 2012: Alberta Ferretti, Balenciaga, Issey Miyake, Alexander McQueen, Emilio Pucci, and Viktor & Rolf

Alberta Ferretti
Alarm bells immediately began to ring when I set eyes on this collection. FIRST JAZZ-AGE INSPIRED SHOW OF THE YEAR! The first of many, since one of this year's unavoidable manufactured trends is going to be faux flapper styles, all thanks to the already overhyped Great Gatsby remake. Do you know when Gatsby comes out? December. And considering the fact that the quality of Baz Luhrman's films seems to be inversely proportional to the amount of money and star-power pumped into them, it's probably not even going to be a very good movie.

pics from Style.com

No doubt my tone already sounds unreasonably irritable, but despite the fact that I liked several pieces from the Alberta Ferretti show I still view it as a harbinger of annoyances to come. A rehash of 1920s fashion is almost guaranteed to be dull and tired, and by the time December rolls by every actor in the Great Gatsby will be so overexposed that even the most fashion-apathetic of us will be sick of speakeasy-themed photoshoots. I guess I'm just the type of person who tends to rain on your parade when you say things like "I wish I lived in the 1920s so I could be a flapper!" -- because you don't. The 1920s sucked. It's like someone in a hundred years saying, "I really wish I lived during the economic meltdown of the 2010s!" and then dressing up as Kim Kardashian. Except the 1920s were worse because women didn't have autonomy and everyone had syphilis.

Yeah, I'm harshing the vibe. 1920s fashion is so pretty! I enjoy going to retro cabarets and speakeasy costume parties (so long as you acknowledge that they're a total fantasy)! I love Art Deco as much as the next guy! But, oh yeah, one other problem with the whole flapper-style... it's a trend that fits perfectly into every terrible body-image issue the fashion world currently dictates. What's the perfect figure for this type of style? The "boyish physique" -- ie, thin, flat-chested, and toned. Which in a way is worse than we've got right now, since mainstream fashion tends to favour "thin but with big boobs" (unlike catwalk fashion's love of the size-zero), meaning that "not thin but with big boobs" is still... you know, half-OK. It allows a little wriggle-room within the restrictions of our unreasonably specific beauty standard. But the original flappers used to bind their breasts, so this type of drop-waist, box-shaped dress pretty much only suits someone who weighs 120lbs, is wearing a sports bra, and lives on a diet of cocaine, lindy-hop, and illegal hooch. If the neo-flapper trend brings with it a new interest in radical feminism, I'll be psyched -- but something tells me that won't be included in most of the style-page articles.

So, now I've got my inaugural 1920s fashion rant out of the way, I'd like to add that I actually rather liked all three of the dresses pictured here. The last one most of all, since it's suitable for women of all ages -- so long as you're the wife of a pre-Wall Street Crash manufacturing tycoon, of course.

Balenciaga
Included for comedy value. This show essentially amounted to the dregs of 1980s fashion, the sort that only the most dedicated of ironic hipsters and retro-fanatics could bear to wear today.

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? -- Oh, it's just the reflection from my fluorescent trashbag trousers.

Issey Miyake
Miyake is always a favourite of mine. This season isn't quite as structural as his designs often are, but I was glad to see the return of the patterned tights from last season. In much of this show, the tights were very clearly a component of the outfit as a whole, rather than a mere backdrop or accessory.

Alexander McQueen
Not as out-there as Couture season, of course, but recogniseably McQueen nonetheless. The collection opened with some gothic Little Red Riding Hood dresses, complete with the wide corset belts that have been a staple of the last couple of McQueen shows.

McQueen designs are famously luxurious and detailed. The head designer, Sarah Burton, often helps detail them herself, and I always feel like that kind of obsessive love and work-ethic shines through.

The high necklines and full skirt/narrow waist silhouettes had aspects of the Victorian to them, but not Victorian to the extent that they seemed like recycled period costumes. It was, however, Victorian in temperament. The colour schemes were subdued, almost to the leven of mourning dress, and there was restrained lack of the fangs, claws and hooves McQueen has often been known to include.

Emilio Pucci
The name Pucci makes me think of sensible wraps for rich ladies to wear to the opera. It's ordinarily not to my taste. But recently I began watching Avatar: The Last Airbender (ie, the Nickelodeon cartoon which I am quickly learning is -- no jokes -- the best television show ever made. Including Firefly.) and these thick, ice-blue patterned capes and dresses remind me of the costumes of the Northern Water Tribe. Real-life Princess Yue, anyone?

On a less frozen-kingdom-of-the-North note, Pucci also produced more normal-looking dresses such as this one, which I couldn't resist posting because of the beautiful pattern.

 Viktor & Rolf
A claustrophobic, gothic, but ultimately uninteresting show from Viktor & Rolf this season.

Weirdly, more people find this blog searching for Viktor & Rolf than for anything else, including the phrase "Hello, tailor". More even than all the people googling my bafflingly popular post about the wallpaper of BBC Sherlock. Google is so mysterious.

The sides of this dress reminded me of the gills of a fish.

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Fall Menswear 2012: Alexander McQueen, Prada, Gucci, Ferragamo and more.

Alexander McQueen
Knee-breeches are the best. I've been wearing them, or variants thereof, for a while now, and eagerly await the moment when Tudor pantaloons come back into style. (I can dream, OK?) So it's time once again for me to be smug about spotting an upcoming trend in advance, and/or using my pattern-recognition skills to twist reality to fit with my desired worldview.

This season's McQueen menswear doesn't reach the lofty heights of the label's recent womenswear collections -- what could? -- but it's buoyed up by a surprising amount of personality for what's essentially another riff on the classic suit. And even though McQueen chose to go for a photoshoot rather than a runway show this season, the modeling choices are interesting in themselves -- no typically lanky, beanpole-like male models here, plus some of the poses hint towards not androgyny (that staple of all high-end fashion) but a certain femininity.

I particularly like the outfit below since it's more or less a typical city banker suit, except breeches instead of trousers. It illustrates how easy it'd be to transition from a typical trouser to this -- although I'm aware that many people will still think it looks dumb.

Bottega Veneta

Trussardi
Trussardi gets a [dis]honourable mention here since their show was, to me, so comedically unappealing. The theme appeared to be "skeezy Starsky & Hutch villain", to which inspiration they brought such marvels as this:

He's stolen your baby and it's in his bag right now.

And this douchebag, whose outfit isn't actually so bad (although it does look like an action-comedy costume, thanks to the colour-scheme), but who appears to be carrying a... bottle... of urine...?

No, seriously, I have no idea.

Salvatore Ferragamo
Ferragamo, along with Ermenegildo Zegna, is one of the finest designers of razor-sharp but ultimately boring menswear. Fantastic to look at, and reeking of style, but not exactly groundbreaking or imaginative. The way I judged this particular show was, "Would Magneto wear this?" since the combination of dark, slim jackets, turtleneck sweaters and purple made me think of Michael Fassbender's wardrobe in X-Men: First Class.

In the following picture, I like to imagine that the pouch on his belt is for snacks. @zanzando suggested on Twitter that he'd use it to transport metal balls for weaponry emergencies, but in my opinion Magneto doesn't need a bag for that, so snacks it is. Cookies, baked incompetently by Charles Xavier because they are buddies and the sequel to X-Men: First Class is totally going to be all about them running a mutant school together. Right? Right.

Moncler Gamme Bleu
Another year, another marvel. Last season it was fencing; this year its Formula 1 drivers. This show wasn't quite up to the level of Spring's opaque masks or faux body-armour with random straps all over it, but a valient effort was made nonetheless.

Moncler Gamme Bleu is one of those Zoolander-esque designers whose customer base I can never quite divine. Evidently they must be doing well since they manage to keep on creating such bizarre and niche designs -- shown on the runway at Fashion Week, no less -- during this economic climate, but how? Who wears it? Maybe it looks less baffling when you're only wearing one item instead of the entire outfit of padded red nylon?

But why is he carrying a blanket?

Prada
Prada did well this season, gimmick-wise, by hiring a mixture of male models and familiar faces for their show. The clothes were underwhelming in my opinion, but the gimmick worked because: Gary Oldman. Gary Oldman! He is reason enough, my friends. Also on the catwalk were Jamie Bell (who tweeted an adorable fanboy message about meeting G. Oldman, I noticed.), Willem Dafoe and Adrien Brodie.

This jacket is too tight.

Miuccia Prada was evident in the details, such as the colourful designs on the accessories, but aside from that the collection was largely old-fashioned yet decidedly run-of-the-mill coats and suits. The shoes, socks, and sunglasses were the main highlight, for me.

My main reason for including this next guy is because I liked his name so much: Bernd Sassmannscausen. Plus his facial expression, which suggests that he's about to Voldemort all over the place.

Gary Oldman!

Jamie Bell's outfit confused me a little, since the waistcoat blended so closely into the shirt and show every sign of being tucked into his trousers. It makes his torso look oddly bandaged, and bulkier than expected.

Gucci
The fit of the suits in Gucci ran extremely slim this season. So slim, in fact, that the trousers all had to have zips at the ankles. But the focus was on fabric choices, from gaudy velvet flocking to iridescent geometric patterns to murky, almost blurred floral prints. I'm not sure if it was successful in most cases, though, especially if worn in a non-fashion context.

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